Witless Asshole Test

Oh fuck your cultural insensitivity in the pooper already, some things are just about the basic right to carry human DNA.

1. You encounter a situation involving several individuals where normal progress is momentarily impeded. Two courses of action are available to you. You choose to:

A. Stop and wait for the 5 or 10 seconds it takes for the complication to work itself out

B. Immediately skirt around the group of individuals who have elected to execute choice A and insinuate yourself into the heart of the complication in the mistaken belief that you alone are special enough to not be inconvenienced, at which point you compound the complication and exponentially delay its resolution.

2. You're waiting for the elevator (especially on the main floor of a building). You choose to:

A. Stand to one side so that when the elevator arrives passengers can disembark quickly and efficiently and you can then board, with the changeover accomplished in minimal time

B. Stand DIRECTLY in front of the doors. When the elevator arrives, charge straight forward into the car. If there are people on the car, make them move out of your way and further back into the car. If there are people wishing to disembark, make them squirm and twist to get around you so that they can. Bonus points are awarded for registering utter shock and confusion when the doors open to reveal actual people inside the car, and/or for standing as close as possible to the closed doors.


If you answered B to either, you are patently unfit to coexist with others in any form whatsoever.
You don't have the social conscience of a crazed Komodo dragon and in any remotely balanced environment you would have been eaten by your peers years ago.
Further, you exhibit such a staggering lack of rudimentary extrapolational logic that you probably shouldn't be around gasoline or edged implements.
Again, you're basically too stupid to live and your utter lack of any contribution to humanity is ample cause for at least banishment, if not forced sterilisation and life imprisonment.

And I'm getting tired of running into you every morning on my way into work.