DON'T call him Bubbles Pt. 6

Part 1 is here.
Part 2 is here.
Part 3 is here.
Part 4 is here.
Part 5 is here.

Worth the wait?
Deffo.

Seriously, if I were to walk in there, what kind of thing could I ask about where the staff would be telling each other and snickering about me behind my back for being a fucking humungous weenie (yourself excepted, obviously, I know YOU'RE far too well-mannered to ever behave in such a manner)?

(Here, I can only speak for my work, as I've heard horror stories from people shopping elsewhere)

Well, I can say there's really no QUESTION you could ask that would elicit that kind of response, behind your back or otherwise.  It's really more of when people cop an attitude, HOW they ask their question, or just acting like a douche-nozzle that will get you talked about.

You're welcome to ask whatever "silly" question you have, I will help you, just don't be arrogant or a dick about it, or I won't care to give you expert service.
This is comic books, man; we embrace the weenies and non-weenies alike. No, you shouldn't read into that last line.

Conversely, what kind of request on my part would have the gang mentioning to each other how cool I was?

For that, all you really need to do act like a friendly and engaging type, and get into an at least semi-in-depth conversation with whomever's assisting you who has a shared interest in said topic.  If it's not shared, you won't get turned away, it'll just be a very one-sided and possibly awkward conversation.
Ordering/buying a book one considers to be particularly awesome will likely pave the way.

Doubtless something along these lines...

Throwing back to my own collecting days, when you were still in diapers (figuratively), when I had a file at the no-frills comic shop on Stony across from the Sax,

Yeah, just up the road from here

roughly what per cent of your custom is based on hardcore file-owning month-to-month  motherfuckers? Or do people even fucking DO that any more?

People very much still do that, though that changes from store to store.  Some are more into doing so than others.
I'm not sure about a percentage as I'm not aware of full sales figures, but I can tell you we have more than 400 file customers.  That's people who have a box set aside and come by on a regular basis for the books (and other merchandise) they've ordered.  Then there's dozens of, maybe even another hundred, people who don't have a file but have books set aside for them.
That's not even touching on those that just walk in off the street to buy books on a regular basis, or those who are just one-off customers, here once and then never seen again.

Bats totally kicks Red's ass, for fucking perpetuity, right?

Assuming 'Red' to be the big red and blue boy scout, I'm willing to side with you on this.

Do you guys take much of a shitkicking from online trade and/or digital versions?

Not so much as I've seen, though it's often hard to track exact numbers on digital copies from what I understand.  There are still quite a number of people who want the actual books in hand.

Usually, people will just download the first issue or so of a series to see how they enjoy it, then if they do they'll go out and pick up what they can for it.
About the only real competition I've seen online are places like Amazon; they can sometimes offer trades for cheaper, and there's the possibility of getting free shipping with that.  That's a bit hard to top.

OK, the movie franchises. Are there a lot of aficionados who look forward to them and enjoy them as an enhancement to their comic reading experience, or have the studios pretty much alienated themselves from the real readers?

People largely seem to be all over the map when it comes to this.  Some hate them for changing things from the books

some hate them because they weren't what THEY expected them to be, others love them for both or either of those reasons.

And sometimes???

They're just pure shit on rollerskates

I can say this.  Marvel is by and large one of the few who managed to get into doing it right.  They're making their films, not farming them out to other companies, so they can control the quality and make them as best they can.

And as seen with the Avengers, they're making a cohesive movie world between wildly different films.

Wait, where's fuckin Hawkeye???

A huge undertaking that's never really been done before, and so far they've been able to pull it off.  The only problem is there are so many of their movie properties that are held by other companies, it may prevent those properties from ever being a part of that shared universe.  Want to see the Avengers fight Doctor Doom?

Not gonna happen for a long time, IF it ever happens.

Are there still cats out there that are sitting on rarities and checking the Buyer's Guide for how much elephant bucks their old issues are worth

or did Spawn pretty much fuck that whole deal up for everyone???

 

There are still the speculators who come through trying to get "choice" books, most often when a new highlighted/milestone book comes out, though they could very well never be worth more than their cover price, regardless of them buying 6 copies because they were polybagged.
Yes, there are those who still come in asking what such and such book is worth, or trying to sell their collection.  And yes, some still come through asking about how much their Spawn #1 will fetch (answer: not that much).

Sorry, I couldn't find one with Canook kwan

Though those who just come through with only questions often don't really know much about the industry, and just want their easy comic money.

Finally, and probably more important than anything else, in 2012, can being a comics geek get you totally sexed up?

That really does come down to attitude; a suave muthafugga is a suave muthafugga, regardless of what he reads or collects.

It's now officially a Two Tony Post!!! Yayyy!!!

Just play your cards right and watch for the proper lady signs.
I will tell you this though: when I was in high school and junior high, I wasn't embraced for reading comics, and may even have been looked down upon

Guess which one is Monsieur Raspberry??

if you transported Highschool Me to the present, more than a decade later, I could very well be mistaken for cool.

Maybe.  That's kind of messed up.


Well, that's it for this Stabchat.
We can't thank you enough for joining us and being so generous with your knowledge and expertise.
Take it easy, and good luck, man.



Raj