Free at Last, Free at Last

OK, so, for reasons I ain't going to get into, I'm on the 15 -day DL, and this is the first time I've been outside since last Friday.
Wicked, man.
Obviously, the women got better looking in my absence.
Thanks to everyone for not beaking off about the paucity of posts.
Thereby, you know, saving me the trouble of kicking your fucking ass.

Needless to say, I watched a buttload of movies.
I was (re) watching JOHN RAMBO (or whatever it's called where you are, you know, the last one.)

I've probably watched this one about 10 times. It's almost as good as #1, and that's saying something (did I mention that the first one was shot in Golden BC, a spot I've stopped in many times for sunrise breakfast when we used to roadtrip to Vancouver, we'd always take off about 6 or 7 pm and cross the Rockies in the night, and then just hit Golden as the sun was coming up...also that I know a bunch of guys who worked on that first one, blablabla)
Anyways, aside from Rambo (or, as we call him around my house, JAHNNY, you got to say it all chokey and breathless like Trautman would)

Driving that badass longtail riverboat

(and yes, that's my personal retirement plan), it's just a big fat awesome movie.

BUT, I wanted to say something about the phenomenon of One-Shot Movie Dealbreakers.
I think my old pal Disco invented this, the deal is, in an otherwise enjoyable movie experience, there's one single shot or moment that totally takes you out of the movie.
It doesn't necessarily  ruin the experience, it just sort of reminds you of how fucking bullshit Hollywood is.
One shining example, for me, is in The Bourne Supremacy. I just fuckin love them Jason Bourne movies, and this didn't totally fuck the movie for me, but it was a bit annoying.
The deal is, Jason and Frankie Pootenta are living in Goa and all, and it's all beachy and trippy and all, yeah? And Jason has like these fucking nightmares and headaches and shit about killing folks and all, and he gets up, and Frankie is all fuckin asking him if he's OK and shit, and he palms a couple Advils or whatever, and then
He
Washes them down with tap water.
In Goa.
Probably not, dude.
Anyways, despite how much I love JOHN RAMBO, there's one of these moments.
And yeah, it's considerably ameliorated by moments like when the Snake Farm boss is haranguing JAHNNY in that unbelievably annoying Thai pidgin, and he says:
"We need another python. See what you can do. We have enough cobras, okay? "
And Johnny walks away, saying
"Fuck off. Okay?"
BUT.
Johnny is sleeping in his weird little boat dock/blacksmith shop and Ken "The White Shadow" Howard comes to axe him to rescue Angel's girlfriend and creepy crosseyed Father Phil.
Thing is, Johnny's sleeping in this net hammock.
In the middle of the night.
Beside a river.
In Thailand.
In the middle of a monsoon rain.

With no mosquito net.

Sorry, Johnny, I know you're tough, but that fucking soap don't wash.
Still, pulling the bad dude's trachea out with his hand, well, that covers a multitude of sins.

Hey, among numerous new friends, we'd like to offer a hearty dobrodošao to HRH The Crown Princess of Croatia, good to have you joining us in this meaningless pursuit of critical horseshit.

Oh yeah, it's Friday.Hey, I'm not just listening to this right now, it's also pretty fucking awesome shit.

Ryan fuckin Hedgecock notwithstanding.


Have a good weekend, babies.