It's dang wiggly out there, and only getting moreso, and you, my babies, wake up every day staring down the teeth of an ugly, predatory world that couldn't give a monkey's whether you live, die, or fry.
Good news is, there's one place you can count on where they got their priorities straight.
For a couple of years now, I've been kind of messing with the idea of starting my own tribe.
I think the time has come, so let's get on it.
Naturally, if you're reading this, I, your benevolent Raj, consider you an able candidate for membership.
I was talking to The Professor about this, I'm still tweaking the Rules.
So, you know, welcome to the tribe
As your Rajah, I pledge fairness, equanimity, and love for all.
And NO FUCKING IPADS.
Oh, and curries for everyone.
Life, babies!
Oh yeah, there's a table full of the local irregulars next to me here, and they are fuckin DRUNK!
Like they fucking WRITE about.
To join this tribe, do we all need to be real bad at metaphors? 'Cause this:
ReplyDelete"...world that couldn't give a monkey's whether you.."
does not make one damn bit of sense.
And just for the record, my great fiery testicles of magnificence prohibit me from owning an iPad.
You are, of course, welcome.
ReplyDeleteOnce you can produce a cerfiticate attesting to your completion of the 12-step I Used To Be An Obtuse Yank-O-Centric thickie, But I'm Alright Now program.
Let me be the girl here and ask, What are we wearing in this tribe?
ReplyDelete(Blogger's word of the day: desslyow. It's a verb. "to desslyow, to kill someone's will to live with bad jokes and cheap alcohol. "We went to that comedy club last night. The place is a dump! I swear I was nearly desslyowed!")
Btw, I DON'T think the world is an ugly, scary place. And that's thanks to a little piece of paper that I've been carrying in my wallet for years.
ReplyDelete(another cool word: "latib". a noun, obviously.)
Obviously, the position of Tribal Wardrobe Directrix has been assumed.
ReplyDeleteOh, and regarding scraps of paper, well, that kind of makes my point, doesn't it?
Tašh, you carry a picture of Ben Affleck around with you? Well that just jiggers my latib.
ReplyDelete