Palace Happenings

DISCLAIMER: Some of the material contained in this post may have been delivered previously in individual communication with certain members, your resolute yet compassionate Ruler does not now warrant, nor has He ever warranted, consistent originality of posted contents.

So last night the Ranee informs me that the Ranette is now qualified to teach piano.
No fuckin kidding.
Not bad for a 12-year-old kid, yeah?
I guess she won't be freezing her ass off pumping gas in -45C for minimum wage.
Excellent.

I saw last night when I got home that the bumwad company has started putting artwork from Cars on the package. This is not such a terribly WTF thing as you might think, since previously they had a picture of a Golden Retriever puppy, and the sheets are STILL printed with little puppies, who would doubtless skitter away, yipping like mad, were they to suddenly become aware of their eventual fate. Anyways, when I saw the new packaging, I asked the Ranette, So, what, I'm supposed to wipe my butt with Lightning McQueen?

Which, when you consider who voices him

Isn't really that unwelcome of a prospect.
Ranette cracks up, but the Ranee calls from the next room and says "No, but it'll make you poop faster"
Which is pretty dang hilarious, really.

So I watched Oliver Stone's Alexander.
Most noteworthy is, of course, the fact that Dawson not only gets 'em out for the lads, she gets 'em out all OVER the place.

Plus the fact that they really are splendid.
The second item of note is that Farrell does some kind of really screwy quasi-Dublin accent deal throughout.

I read somewhere that he was unable to lose his Irish accent so Ollie had all the Macedonians fake an Irish accent (even though at least one of them is clearly speaking Scottish English). Val Fatmer

delivers probably the most embarrassing version of this.
Personally I don't buy it, I've seen Farrell do a perfectly acceptable Yank accent before.
More than likely, it was some stupid conceit that Ollie came up with at 4 AM and then realized after the fact how asinine it was.
Anyways, Farrell spends the whole fucking movie sounding vaguely like Bono.

OK, no, really Bono.

(seriously, who can fucking tell?)

I kept waiting for Farrell to stand up in front of his conquering army and say:

Thess is a battlefield the Bactrians stole from the Thracians...well tonate werr stalin' it back.

Oh, and the hair didn't really bother me.
Compared to the rest of the crapfest, I mean.

Raj