You got to stand for some fucking thing, right?

We love a good oath, yeah?
And as they go, this one's pretty hard to beat.

Night gathers, and now my watch begins. It shall not end until my death. I shall take no wife, hold no lands, father no children. I shall wear no crowns and win no glory. I shall live and die at my post. I am the sword in the darkness. I am the watcher on the walls. I am the fire that burns against the cold, the light that brings the dawn, the horn that wakes the sleepers, I am the shield that guards the realms of men. I pledge my life and honor to the Night's Watch, for this night and all the nights to come.

Raj

Fire Rises

I been trying to write SOME fucking thing about this for weeks and weeks.
I'm having a real hard time coming up with anything even remotely comprehensible.

Every now and then you come across a piece of work that affects you so FUCKING profoundly, it's like the experience has irrevocably changed the shape of your brain.

Yeah, like that.

And when I watched it AGAIN, immediately after the first time, it felt even more so.

Never mind the next 12 or 13 times.
But who's counting?

 

 
One thing I CAN tell you is that these

three

movies

are NOT just a movie, a sequel, and a "threequel" (sorry, that last bit of Media Cute nearly popped me a rib).

Make no mistake, this is a definite Trilogy, in the most meaningful sense of the word.

You might not have noticed, in the second one, I certainly didn't, but it's resoundingly clear as you watch The Dark Knight Rises.

Raj

This can't be safe

I seen this on the news a couple nights ago.

Yeah, those are little cheeseburgers on each slice.

Take a minute to let that sink in.

Apparently available only at Pizza Hut (Penis Slut, as we used to call it in my yout', you know, when Comedy was King) in their Middle East stores.

There's probably some reason, but I can't think of one.

Thing is, you know, when I was still at home, if anyone even jokingly suggested eating something like this, they'd get, you know, smacked.

Unless, obviously, it was like the tail tail end of a really bad drunk.
Like a Jack Daniel's drunk.

Back when, you know, the 5 Major Food Groups were:

1. Beer
2. Whiskey
3. Smokes
4. Girls who aren't all that fussy about undergarments, and
5. Anything hot you can get to eat after 3 AM

Even THEN, we would have found that pretty disgusting.

Now?

Well, I'm just pissed that we can't get it here.

Raj

As simple as that

Actual quote from actual (smallish-type) human.

Mom asked me why I like The Avengers so much.

And I thought about it.
And, you know, every day, all the people I see, everyone around me, is small and cheap and selfish. Petty, greedy, and lazy. They don't care about anyone but themselves and they don't care about anything that isn't theirs.

So I like to watch The Avengers.
I get to spend a little time with a better class of people, you know?

Yeah, honey.

I know.

Raj

Seriously, I don't get it

OK, so, when I was a kid and used to work in theatre and shit, I was in this one play.
The director had cast this peeler as one of the girls in the play.
That's a peeler like back home

Not like in Belfast.

Anyways, this babe was, to put it mildly, a little light in the old consistency department.
Lovely girl, very talented. Kind of a Quaalude & red wine drunk, but there's nothing intrinsically wrong with that.
But it soon became apparent, even in the early days of rehearsal, that she was finding things like getting to rehearsal on time a serious challenge.
So the director charged me with minding her.
I had wheels, and was generally a responsible sort.
So I was tasked with collecting her, from her apartment or the Hoochie Coochie joint where she worked,

and getting her to the theatre on time.
Needless to say, I frequently ended up being treated to her plying her wares, as it were, often having to wait for her to finish up her set.
Other times I kind of had to physically roust her from the depths of her boudoir.
No biggie, really.
Actually, I'm pretty sure she got 'em out in the course of the play we were doing, too.
Anyways the point is, I seen her buck naked on a regular basis.

And then, one time, I was going to get her to drive her home or something, and I just gave a quick knock before opening the door to her dressing room, and she was like half-dressed, and she went apeshit on me.
Yelling at me for not knocking and not respecting her privacy and on and on.
And I was like...huh?

Anyways, that's how I feel whenever I sit for like hours having a meal with a bunch of Taiwanese people, who manage to get through like 10 courses plus soup without ever once closing their mouths.
And then when dinner's over they all grab the toothpicks and do the two handed mouth shielding thing.

And I'm like...the fuck???
Dude, I been looking down your damn gullet all night, what's the big fucking secret???

Raj

It's always a bittersweet moment...

...when one of you guys grows up and starts your OWN blog.

But mostly it's good, because it's one less of you to bitch me out when I don't fucking post for a couple weeks.

Anyways, put your hands together and give a big Tribal welcome to the new blog of everyone's favourite unhinged Desi, our own Divvo the Insane, it's called, wait, what the fuck is it?

Oh yeah, Gilded as charged.

Which is a pretty catchy title, really.

As usual, I got no fucking idea what the fuck she's talking about, but it looks pretty, which is plenty for me.
So, go and support our newest Tribal offering, and don't be fuckin shy about Followating the fuck out it, yeah?

How do you say fruitcake in Hindi, any fucking ways???

Raj

 

Mee Fucking Ow already

So, yeah, I got me hands on a hardcover trade of Batman Incorporated a while back.

I ain't that far in, but it's pretty fucking excellent, I must say.

Only thing is, I'm having some trouble with Cats.
(And no, you wiseasses, it ain't because I keep needing to go rub one out every 3 pages)

She continually reminds of you-know-who, and it's sort of distracting.
It ain't because she's so hot it'd make your teeth hurt

And it ain't because of her dynamite pooper

or the cleavage that could make the lame get up and walk.

Any joke involving "bone" here would just be too easy

No, it's actually her smart mouth and bad attitude that seem to resonate so strongly.

At one point, Bats saves her from being submerged in this huge water tank where she's about to get eaten by this gijantic Nipponese monster octopus, and all she does is complain how uncomfortable her leather outfit is when soaking wet.

Yeah, that kind of sounds familiar.

Oh yeah, her and Bats

are fucking each other.

Which is, you know, pretty cool.

Raj