Fair Warning

This morning is Monday, yes? The morning when we, among other things, gas up the (world's most wicked awesome cool) Zippo.

So, on my way in, I’m preparing to spark my one allotted smoke for the drive.
I’m sitting at a light, and there’s a taxi RIGHT next to me on my right.

I didn’t really notice, but his window was down, and he was so close I could have conked him in the head just by sticking me elbow out.

ANYWAYS, I’m lighting up, and, as so often happens the first couple lights after a juice-up, there’s a massive vapour lock and it won’t light, but it’s full enough that I get some fluid on my thumb.
So I give it a quick sharp blow into the chimney, as one does, and it lights.

BUT there’s this big ball of vapour there, AND me thumb has fluid on it, so my thumb ends up with a flame coming off it (are you thinking what I'm thinking?

You should be).

It’s nothing, first off it’s just fumes so it burns off in a nanosecond, second, the skin on the ends of me fingers is so thick it would probably have to cook for 20 minutes and then get flipped over and basted

before I’d feel it.
Anyways, just as it happens, I actually light me smoke OFF THE END OF MY THUMB, which I then give one brisk shake and it’s out.
I’m kind of chuckling at this when I realize this taxi driver has been watching the whole fuckin deal, and is literally staring at me with his mouth hanging open.
The light changes, and I say to him, out loud

“That’s right, motherfucker, you just fuckin remember that when you try to cut me off at the next lights” and I take off.

Raj