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Your Humble Ruler, Rajah Cheech Beldone, King of the Gypsies.

Tuesday, January 3, 2012

Black Bird Black Heart Black Flag

So it looks like a lot of people are putting this one at or near the top of their Best of 2011 lists.
I got no beef with that, I guess.
It was certainly a hell of a movie.

Naturally, like I'm pretty sure at least 50% of everyone else, I watched it mostly in hopes of fucking Portman

FINALLY getting them out for the lads, but, alas, it was not to be.
Still, the quasi-rug munch between her and Whatsername

Was decent.
Even if it never really happened.
And hey, what's up with that?
If you're going to have some kind of massive Hottie All-Skin Cagematch in your movie

The kind of a deal some folks have been waiting a lifetime to see

or even longer

you know, the kind of stuff that has the power to change a young man's life forever...

Well, OK, then, have at her...

But for CRYING OUT LOUD, DON'T do it and then make like it never really happened!!

Sheeeet, mon, I could stay home and do that, for fuck's sakes.

I also found it pretty distracting how everytime we saw Portman's Ma

I kept drawing involuntary wood thinking about her boob tats in Last Temptation.

(boy, if I get to the end of this one without having to duck down the the hall for an Emergency Rubout, I deserve some kind of fucking award, for sure)

It was good, definitely well made.
Vincent fucking Cassel is the fucking sauce, as always

I love him, he's like the one in a million fucking Frenchies who can actually pull it off without deserving a fucking smack in the bargain.

Seriously, he just cracks me up, he's like that one guy in your gang that every fuckin time you go anywhere he steals at least two chicks from their dates and there's nothing you can do or say about it because he fucking earned it.
And the chicks are never sorry after.

We aren't even going to mention that TONIGHT he will go home and bang one of the Three Musketeers of Female Perfection (Bonet is d'Artagnan), the less said about that the better.

Yeah, it was OK.

Thing is, you know, Aronofsky, he's like a fucking sculptor of dread, you know?
Every one of his movies, there's just this constantly mounting undercurrent of fear for something bad going to happen, sometimes it's WAY out front, like in Pi

like being in some kind of evil medical experiment, or fucking Requiem

which pretty much replicated the experience of someone kicking you in the nuts every 5 minutes for a hour and a half, each time just a little harder.
Even The




my own Best Movie for 2008, returning the Mighty Mighty Micktone to his former state of fucking glory

and well-deserved world domination

Well, even that was a tough watch.

Anyways, I think it's pretty good, and don't really mind it getting all the attention.

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