Welcome to The Tribe.
Your Humble Ruler, Rajah Cheech Beldone, King of the Gypsies.

Friday, January 20, 2012


*Before we start, allow me to assure you all, with utter certainty, that nobody, I repeat NOBODY, who visits here has ever seen my ass*

I had to go to the computer store last night, and while I was waiting for my guy, I had the distinct displeasure of being subjected to one of those shitsucking Apple promo videos that they run non-stop on the big fucking plasma.
Lordy lordy Barry Gordy, I hate those fucking things, they just make me want to fucking Elvis the screen.

You know the ones, with the endless succession of Phoney-assed Sincere Corporate Geeks telling you how fantastic the new toy is and how they all "pulled together to overcome the challenges" of getting the fucking thing to do whatever it couldn't do last year so you'll fucking pony up for the new one.

Aside from the incredible annoyance of them all doing that asshole 90's thing of speaking directly to your immediate left or right, a relentlessly pat manouvre to let you know that they aren't actually recording a prepared marketing message, oh heavens no, they were just having this relaxed, buddy-to-buddy chat with that guy over there and the camera just happened to roll, the whole Friendly Nerd shtick is just sooooooo fucking cheesy.

Oh, and at the risk of getting all Hey You Kids Get Off My Lawn on you all, if I ever end up standing in my home telling a box to find me a good Italian resto, well, you know, it'll be time to go.

All I could think of, while watching these twats, was:

So fucking Kodak is going TU, huh?
That's kind of sad, really.


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