It's never to late to reassess...

Listen, just on the off-chance that, many moons ago, when you were a mere slip of a lad/ladette, your dear auld Ma sat you down in the kitchen one day

for a little heart-to-heart talk, that went something like this:
"Now sweetheart, your father and I love you very much, and we like to support you in whatever it is that you're interested in...like your comic books

those Star Track movies

or even those awful monster models you like to build

but honey, we think it's time we talked about your latest, um..."goal". Now we know how badly you've had your heart set on writing a column for a popular Internet movie site/magazine, we know how hard you've been trying to develop your skills and knowledge base, and it's really admirable, we're quite proud of you. But darling, your Dad and I really feel like...well it just wouldn't be fair to you to let you go on any longer without a bit of a, well, "reality check", like they say on my afternoon talk shows.
Sweetie, we know how bad you want this, but you really just need to face the hard truth.
Honey, the fact is...well, you're a fuckheaded booger-eating shitheel who doesn't know your ass from a shoebox full of cat manure.
And you have to know, pumpkin, there's just no way on earth that you can be a fuckheaded booger-eating shitheel who doesn't know your ass from a shoebox full of cat manure and write a column for a popular Internet movie site/magazine.
We're sorry, and we love you."

Well, just so you know.

Ma was wrong.

Raj