Sometimes I'd like to leave my head at home

So I have this recurring, well not dream, because the actual dream is different every time, but, I guess setup would be the right word.
Every couple weeks for the last 3 or 4 months, I guess.
I'm back home, in the house where I grew up (a dwelling I utterly fucking loathe and would be more than delighted to squish into the ground like Jenny in Forrest Gump).

Oh yeah, to paraphrase the always excellent Saïd Taghmaoui in Three Kings

My main man. WHAT. Ees the prub-lem wees Robin Wright???

Seriously, though, wouldn't she be like the hottest chick in the world IF she'd just crack a fuckin smile once in her miserable fuckin life??

Honestly, I'm not fucking kidding here, what's the fuckin glitch, anyways??

She's totally fuckin fine-looking

She's an actual legitimate movie star, having appeared as the love interest of an extraordinary collection of the biggest

and coolest

fucking

leading

men

in

fuckin

Hollywood.
She's the One True Love AND mother of the children of the one of the coolest movie dudes ever,

And, if all that ain't enough...
She's the Fucking Princess Fucking Bride!!!

For jumpin out fucking loud!!!
"As you wish" my fuckin ASS!

So WHAT'S

With the fuckin Dour McPainface 24/7, huh???

ANYWAYS, sorry.

So I'm in my Ma's house, and I'm me current age etc, but I got no wife or progenarials, and I'm all alone in the house, and it's kind of empty, there's some stuff, but not much.

And the deal is I been back for quite a while, like a couple three weeks, and I haven't contacted someone who I was supposed to.

Here's where it gets weird, sometimes it's me Ma, sometimes it's one or both my sisters, and sometimes, and this is way fucked up, it's my freaking ex-wife!
I haven't made contact just because I can't be arsed, but I have these pervasive feelings, in the dream, of, first, dreading the biblical-level ass-chewing I'm going to get when (insert pertinent female) finds out. The other is just this deep, abiding disgust at being there combined with a stabbing sadness at not being in fucking Taiwan, if you can fuckin feature that.

The ex thing is particularly fucked, since she hasn't spoken to me since like 1999 or some fucking thing. Also there's varying degrees of worry that me Ma or one of my sisters will think I'm an asshole (this obviously doesn't apply with my ex, since she's held [and fairly broadly disseminated] that opinion for many many moons already).

Anyways, the rest of the dream carries on from there.

So what the fuck is THAT all a fuckin bout??

Raj