In a very bizarre moment of actual dignitive cossinace there the other day, I was downstairs and one of the foul mouthbreathing oafs who deliver shit here pulls up in front of the building, and gets off his shit scooter all fucking betel nut stainy and rubber flip floppy.
And he pulls off his shitty rubber poncho, to reveal a brand new Nike warmup jacket.
For the fucking HNS, for fuck's sakes.
This is totally freaking weird, and not just because I'm one of probably 15 people in this whole fucking country who actually know what
Hrvatska
means when we see it on the back of a garment, not just because this fucking cephalopod has no idea what he's wearing, but also because, you'll remember, we are in the ONLY country in the world outside of North America where there's ZERO awareness of (proper) football.
And, besides, well, fuck me anyways.
Of course, one should mention that, even given the cream of Croatanian womanhood on display here, even if one were to attach them end to end, they wouldn't come close to one of Her Highness, but that really goes without saying.
ANYWAYS, in honour of the superlative Croataciousness of everyone concerned, it's time for...
The Croat Quiz!!
Easy peezie lemon squeezie, win a date with Patrick Sweezie, 'cause he looks so Japaneesie and he speaks that Taiwaneesie.
One question.
Two BIG prizes.
OK, everyone ready?
Here we go.
Is the answer cigarettes and teabags?
ReplyDeleteAss-kicking and name-taking.
ReplyDeleteHa, ha! Is that true? Did the taike guy really wear HNS sweats? That's hilarious!
ReplyDeleteStu, Karl... that's cute, but feeble, really.
Feeble? If you know of a more appropriate slang idiom that I could reference to describe Croatians, please let me know. "Kicking ass and taking names" is pretty high praise where I come from.
ReplyDeleteIt's a lovely sentiment, Kr.. Karl. I don't feel we deserve it, though. Not since the war. The women may have toughened up, but the men are overall a disappointment, to be honest. (can you tell I've been dating lately? Unsuccessfully?)
ReplyDeleteI projected my disappointment onto you. Can you ever forgive me?
I'm not sure. It is a sin against all that is holy to bad-mouth any segment of the Croatian people. But your *are* Croatian people, so I'm left in a pretty puzzler of paradox.
ReplyDeleteI always thought the cravat was from Croat. Number two? No idea!
ReplyDeleteWe definitely need more quizzes.
ReplyDelete