Tell me THIS ain't fuckin freaky...

As most of you know, I been in the same neighborhood for lo, 14 years or something.
So, you know, I kind of know the local folks, at least to see them, colourful lot that they are.
There's this one cat I see every couple weeks or so.
As is often the case, I first noticed him because he doesn't look like everyone else, unlike, well...everyone else.
I don't think he's a Garbage Uncle (not that there's anything wrong with that), but he's obviously on the lower end of the working class scale, I usually only see him walking or riding one of those crap old iron China bicycles, but a couple times I've clocked him riding an old Sanyang 125 work bike.
He's quite distinct looking, one of those dudes with a size 9 body and like size 7 skin, with like negative 20% body fat, all big eyes and face stretched tight over bulging cheekbones.
He also frequently has a wee bit of a moustache and chin beard going, which is pretty notable in itself around here.
Sort of puts one in mind of a young Uncle Ho

or the guy in Heaven and Earth who starts out rich and knocks up LeLai

(Who, we now know, is actually an actor named Long Nguyen, and not only does a lot of good work, but is additionally part of the freakishly star-studded All-Star Pirate Gang in that stupid movie Ford made with Crazyassed Anne Fuckin Heche and Ross from Friends [and don't ask me what the fuck is gong on with Heche's fuckin boob in the poster there, I haven't the faintest idea]

with said Gang further comprising, and I'm not fucking kidding here, Honorary Tribesmen and overall Wicked Cool Dudes

Tem Morrison

Danny Trejo

Insanely busy Stunt Master John Koyama,

and one of the coolest humans anywhere, our old buddy

Cliffy Curtis.

And, despite all that, it still ain't worth watching that piece of shit, what a fuckin crapfest)

Anyways, my neighbor guy, he's definitely a working dude, he's as brown as a nut and only wears long pants in the deepest winter, and never wears anything other than rubber flip flops except occasionally gumboots in a big rain.
I've seen him sometimes heading down Wuxing with like 5 or 6 little kids, like 3 to 6 years old, clustered around him, but I've never seen him with a woman, which is a little odd, but nothing compared to what's comin up here.
Now sometimes, I'll see this guy and he's really let the old chinny whiskers grow out, to like several inches, which REALLY enhances the HCM effect.
And then the next time I see him he's cut them back to a more abbreviated length.

So anyways, there I am, last Thursday, I think, on my way to work, sitting on the Tumbler at a light, waiting, like I do every single morning, and a motorcycle pulls up beside me, I can see out of the corner of my eye there are 2 dudes sitting on it, and I glance over.
And the guy driving is this neighbor guy I've been telling you about.
With the longish grown out beard.
And the passenger?
Is the fucking neighbor guy with the beard cut short!!!!!
The fucking
BOTH
of him are sitting on this fucking motorbike!!!!

And they both smile and give me the fucking nod!!


The guy
is
fucking
TWINS!!!!

I swear to fuck, I can't remember the last time I was that close to making in me fucking pants.
Honestly, it's a good thing it was a bright sunshiny day out, if this had happened at night, I'd probably be locked up in the loony bin right about now.

Yeah, I need more shit like that in my life.
Jeepers.

Raj