Like I ain't sweet enough already...

(DISCLAIMER: for the purposes of this post, I'll be managing the tired-assed old biscuit vs cookie controversy by using the North American convention of "cookie" for a baked, sweet, single serving confectionery item. Sorry, Euro-cats, I'll get you back on the vest vs undershirt thread.)
Like a lot of other stuff, I didn't grow up eating packaged cookies.
Me sainted Ma generally refused to indulge us for the usual two-pronged motivation of health + economic concerns.
So we were generally satisfied with her, my granmas', and then later my big sister's homemade efforts.
No giant skin off my behind, really, since I never really had much of a sweet tooth.
Plus the fact that I ain't a big fan of chocolate, although that last I attribute more to just being male.
And, also like many other things, I learned about stuff like Chips Ahoy

And Oreos

From girlfriends.
Not that either of these two examples got me all that fired up, they're both too...chocolatey.

Ma always said that the store cookies (and bread, and mayo and salad dressing etc) were loaded with all kinds of nasty preservatives and chemicals etc.
Which was, really, pretty radical stuff for late-60s suburban Canada.
I was just telling Count Helmut von Anteater last week about taking my lunch to school in like 4th grade and my classmates freaking out and abusing the crap out of me because my sarnie was made with bread that had...seeds in it, they were all like, what are you, a bird????
Ma was, obviously, ahead of her time.
Anyways, these days we often got a tube or two of Oreos hanging around, and I've been known to grab a few with a glass of milk of a weekend afternoon.
But, see, there actually are flavours that I really am nuts about, they just aren't as ubiquitous as the Brown Stuff.
Vanilla.
I actually go fucking mental for anything that actually tastes like real vanilla.
I remember when I was a kid, someone gave the old man an actual vanilla bean.

I think he was going to try and make some kind of booze out of it.
Anyways, it was in this plastic tube with a cap on the end.
He never got around to doing anything with it, so it just hung around the kitchen along with the billion other little pieces of meaningless shite that were supposed to get made into something, etc.
But I used to go and just open that tube and smell, it was like the best thing in the world.
I'm also pretty partial to strawberry and blueberry.
BUT they got these new Oreos that are Blueberry (EXcellent!), but they're that fucking miserable Ice Cream flavour horseshit.
You know about this shit?

It's like the latest in that whole slough of "Cool" and "Icy" crap, where they pump whatever it is full of synthetic mint, so everything tastes/feels like smoking one of me Grandma's fuckin Alpines

Man, The Ranee bought some fuckin shampoo with that shit in it and din't tell me, of course the label was in Chinese so I didn't look, and it was like 0530 and I was taking a shower and put some of it on me fucking head, holy crap, I thought I was having a fuckin stroke or some fucking thing, scared the crap out of me.

Anyways, I like blueberry and strawberry, but vanilla is my very favourite.
And just recently, they started introducing these badassed motherfuckers...

So, yeah, I got a few of them in the fridge, with my last can of Blue Sky All Natural Cream Soda...

Sometime this weekend, look out Nellie.

Baby, this is going to be more fun than a Kay Parker handjob, I shit you not.


Raj